TYPES OF INTERVIEW//PART-10

Mealtime Interview:

The mealtime interview is used to determine what a candidate is like in a social setting. But, interviewing over a meal can be a candidate's worst nightmare or challenge. The interviewers want to not only know how you handle a fork but how you treat your host, any guests and the serving staff. A candidate must take cues from the interviewer and always remember she is the guest. These tips will help yo with mealtime interviews.

• Do not sit down until the host does.
• Always order something less extravagant than the interviewer.
• Choose manageable food items, if possible.
• If the interviewer wants to talk business, please do so. But if the interviewer and/or guests want to discuss upcoming travel plans or their families, do not, under any circumstance, launch a business discussion.
• Remember ordinary manners: thank the host for the meal and their time.

have been on a number of these types of interviews. I no longer find these difficult. You have to take your time while eating and talking. Never order messy food and limit alcoholic beverages. Real Estate companies and firms hiring salespeople will conduct these kinds of interviews. They want to make sure that the candidate can represent the company in a social setting without embarrassing the company.

Follow-up Interviews

Companies bring candidates back for second and sometimes third or fourth follow-up interviews. There are a number of reasons for this. Sometimes they just want to confirm that you are their ideal candidate. Sometimes they are having a difficult time deciding between a short-list of candidates. Other times, other decision-makers in the company want to gain a sense of who the candidate is before a hiring decision is made.

Additional interviews may go in a variety of directions. When meeting with the same interviewer, a candidate can focus on cementing rapport, understanding where the company is going and how his/her skills mesh with the company vision and their culture. Candidates may find themselves negotiating a compensation package. Or they may find themselves starting from the beginning with a new interviewer.

From my personal experiences, if a candidate is asked back for more than two or three interviews, the company is not sure what they want or need in a candidate. This can be a waste of time and resources for both the candidate and the company.

Conclusion

Interviews are time consuming and training is needed to do them well. They are a flexible method for assessing and selecting candidates for all levels and types of positions. They generate data, which enables the interviewer to analyze the data to generate information about whether a candidate is a good fit for the company. However, information from different interviews is potentially difficult to manage. It has these characteristics.

• Hard to bring together coherently;
• Open to potential interviewer bias;
• May miss certain areas of knowledge, skills, and ability;
• An interview may stress one area and neglect others;
• All kinds of potential problems in the interpretation and analysis of the information obtained; and
• There is always the possibility of distorted impressions.

It is imperative that companies find interviewing styles and formats that are beneficial to the needs of both the company and its potential employees. You'll build bench strength and get the right people in the right seats, moving forward on the bus.

TYPES OF INTERVIEW//PART-8

Group Interview:

Group interviews involve getting together with other job candidates to meet with one or more interviewers. Usually it involves a number of interviewers - potential managers or supervisors, human resources, even future co-workers and a group of candidates all together in one room.

In its most basic form the group interview consists of a presentation to the candidates about the company and position. Generally there will be a question and answer session after the presentation.

These simple interviews serve two purposes. Information is given to all the candidates in an economical and time-saving manner. It also gives the interviewers an opportunity to conduct an initial screening of the candidates as they observe the candidates' behavior and interaction with each other, their communication skills and the impression they make.

Group interviews can be more involved than this. Candidates may be required to participate in wok- stimulation exercises. These can take the form of group problem-solving sessions where each candidate's contributions and participation is noted. Discussion groups take a similar form.

Other exercises include splitting the candidates into teams and each team is given a work-related task to complete. Each team then presents their results to the whole group.

During these team exercises the interviewers closely watch and listen to the candidates. They may also ask questions of individual candidates and take notes.

The skills been observed communication and interpersonal ability, persuasiveness and the ability to influence others, leadership and delegation, organizational and planning skills and the ability to work and contribute as a team-member. Other observable behaviors include the ability to handle stress, to deal with feedback and give feedback and to analyze and problem-solve. Levels of individual knowledge are also noted.

Sometimes the situational exercise is not work related. Candidates are given a controversial hypothetical situation, such as deciding how to choose which people to save from a sinking boat. These type of exercises cause a lot of discussion and argument and interviewers will observe how people interact, influence and reach decisions.

Tips for Group Interviews:

• Before you begin the interview introduce yourself politely to the other candidates.You will be observed from the word go

• It is important to be seen as an active participant rather than merely an observer. Contribute your views and ideas while also listening to the other candidates

• Appear confident but avoid coming across as aggressive

• Avoid dominating the conversation and don't interrupt the othercandidates
• Make sure that you take criticism and give feedback constructively
• Give praise when possible and acknowledge valuable contributions from other candidates
• Avoid obvious power conflicts as these will make you appear uncooperative and unprofessional
• Stay cool under stress

• Be aware of your body language. This is something that will be carefully observed.

• With many candidates all trying to contribute, someone may make your point first. If this happens, think of a statement that adds to this point. This demonstrates that you listen actively and think on your feet

• Prepare meaningful questions to ask. You will be asked at some point if you have any questions and you will stand out from the other candidates if you have a planned list of insightful questions to ask

• Be aware of the interviewers throughout so you can catch any important cues
• Send a thank you letter to each interviewer as soon as possible afterward
  

Use these tips for group interviews and your job interview experience will be a positive one. You will stand out as a mature, confident and competent candidate.

TYPES OF INTERVIEW//PART-7

Audition:

For some positions, interviewers want to see job candidates in action before they make a hiring decision.

Subsequently, interviewers might take you through a simulation or exercise in order to evaluate your skills. That's what the audition interview is all about.

For example, if you're applying for a job as a technical instructor, your interviewer might ask you to prepare for instructing a brief lesson about a given topic or one of your choice.

Your "student" audience might consist of interviewers, other interviewees, seasoned technical instructors, employee volunteers or a mix of all. An audition interview can be enormously useful to you as well. That's because it allows you to demonstrate your abilities in interactive ways that are familiar to you. The simulation or exercise will also give you a simplified sense of what the job and working conditions would be like.

If you're not offered a chance to audition, but you sense that other candidates have an edge on you in terms of experience or other qualifications, requesting an audition interview can help you to level the playing field.

To maximize your success in an audition interview, remember to:

• Brush up on your skills before an interview if you think they might be tested in an audition interview.
• Clearly understand the instructions and expectations for your audition interview. Ask for clarification if you don't, as it will show that you make an effort to do things right the first time.
• Treat the simulation or exercise as if you have responsibility for the task laid before you. Take ownership of your work.
• Send a thank you note to each of your audition interviewers as soon as you can.
  

TYPES OF INTERVIEW//PART-6

Behavioral Interview:

In a behavioral interview you will have to demonstrate your knowledge, skills, and abilities, collectively known as competencies, by giving specific examples from your past experiences. The interviewer wants to know, not that you can do something, but that you have done it. He or she, prior to the interview, determines what competencies are required for the position. Then the interviewer develops a series of questions that will allow him or her to find out if you, the job candidate, possess the necessary competencies to perform the job. The basic premise of the behavioral interview is that past performance is a good predictor of future performance.

While many candidates are intimidated by this method, a behavioral interview gives you the opportunity to demonstrate to a prospective employer why you are well suited for the job. Rather then merely telling the interviewer what you would do in a situation, as in a regular interview, in a behavioral interview you must describe, in detail, how you handled a situation in the past. What better way to "strut your stuff?"

On a behavioral interview, you can expect questions like "Tell me about a time when..." or "Give me an example of when..." Fill in the blanks with one of any number of skills, knowledge, or abilities the interviewer is trying to ascertain you have. For example, if conflict resolution is a required competency, the question may be "Tell me about a time two people you had to work with weren't getting along." If you have work experience you can talk about two of your co-workers. If you're interviewing for your first job you can select an experience that occurred during a time you worked on a group project, or participated in a team sport. As long as you clearly state the problem, demonstrate the steps you took to resolve it, and discuss the results, it doesn't matter what experience you draw upon.

Why Would an Employer Use This Technique

When asked simple yes or no questions, a job candidate can easily tell an interviewer what he or she wants to hear. For example, if you're asked what you would do if a client suddenly moved up the deadline on a project, you could reply that you would put in overtime as necessary. However, if the interviewer asks what you have done in the past to complete a project on a tight deadline, you would have to give a real-life example, detailing how you handled the situation. Then the interviewer could ask some probing questions to verify that what you are saying actually happened. For example, she might ask how many hours you spent on the project and whether the client was happy with the results, or what grade you got if you're talking about a school project.


Behavioral interviewing is a style of interviewing that was developed in the 1970's by industrial psychologists. Behavioral interviewing asserts that "the most accurate predictor of future performance is past performance in a similar situation." Currently, most organizations are using behavioral interviewing to some degree.
Unlike traditional interviews, which include such questions as:

1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What are your strengths and weaknesses?
3. Why are you interested in working for us?

Behavioral interviewing emphasizes past performance and behaviors. As a consequence, candidates unprepared for the rigor of behavioral interviewing have not fared well. Simply practicing the list of common interview questions no longer works.

Why should you prepare for behavioral interview?

· Candidates who prepare for behavioral interviews are better prepared - even for traditional interviews.

· Using behavioral answers works well with inexperienced interviewers.

· Companies that invest the time and energy in developing behavioral interviews often attract top candidates. Top candidates make the company a more desirable place to work.

How do I prepare for a behavioral interview?

Companies that employ behavioral interviewing have predetermined the skill sets they require for a particular position. These skill sets could include: decision making and problem solving, leadership, motivation, communication, interpersonal skills, planning and organization, critical thinking skills, team building and the ability to influence others. The company determines the skill sets by doing a detailed analysis of the position they are seeking to fill. Job seekers also must go through this same process. To conduct a job analysis the job seeker should ask questions such as:

1. What are the necessary skills to do this job?

2. What makes a successful candidate?

3. What would make an unsuccessful candidate?

4. Why have people left this position previously?

5. What is the most difficult part of this job?

Once you have landed the interview, keep in mind the following points.
· Be detailed and specific. You should have developed three stories that illustrate your past performance. Remember that the interviewer will be operating under the premise that "past performance in a similar setting is the best predictor of future performance."

The best way to accomplish this is to use the three-step STAR process or
1. Situation or Task
2. Action
3. Result or outcome

For example, you might recount a time when communication within your work group had broken down (situation). To resolve the problem, you organized informal lunch meetings for people to discuss relevant issues (action). Morale then improved, as did the lines of communication (result). Using this three step STAR process is a powerful way for you to frame your experiences and accomplishments for the interviewer.

· Limit rambling and tangents. While you can't control what is asked, you can control what you say.
· Listen carefully to each question. If you are unsure, rephrase the question and ask for clarification. When you respond, be sure to recall your past accomplishments in detail.
· Practice your behavioral stories using real-life examples. It is very difficult to make up behavioral stories, which is why behavioral interviewing is becoming more popular. By practicing, you will be able to recall with confidence your past accomplishments.

Sample Behavioral Interview Questions

Decision Making and Problem Solving

Give me an example of a time when you had to keep from speaking or making a decision because you did not have enough information.

Give me an example of a time when you had to be quick in coming to a decision.

Leadership

What is the toughest group that you have had to get cooperation from?

Have you ever had difficulty getting others to accept your ideas? What was your approach? Did it work?

Motivation

Give me an example of a time when you went above and beyond the call of duty.

Describe a situation when you were able to have a positive influence on the action of others.

Communication

Tell me about a situation when you had to speak up (be assertive) in order to get a point across that was important to you.

Have you ever had to "sell" an idea to your co-workers or group? How did you do it? Did they "buy" it?

Interpersonal Skills

What have you done in the past to contribute toward a teamwork environment?

Describe a recent unpopular decision you made and what the result was.

Planning and Organization

How do you decide what gets top priority when scheduling your time?

What do you do when your schedule is suddenly interrupted? Give an example.

Other Behavioral Questions

Give a specific example of a policy you conformed to with which you did not agree.

Give me an example of an important goal which you had set in the past and tell me about your success in reaching it.

Describe an instance when you had to think on your feet to extricate yourself from a difficult situation.

TYPES OF INTERVIEW//PART-5

Stress Interview:

In stress interview questions, stressful situation is created by the interviewers deliberately to appraise the candidates whether they can perform well under such a situation. Stress is a term used in physical science which is related to impact of one object on another. Higher is the impact, higher is stress level. This phenomenon is used in human life too.

When stress is used in the context of human life, it represents the pressure that people have in their life, and from the organization’s point of view, in work life.In fact, some of the jobs which have to be performed under constant time pressure are stressing.

In order to create stressful situation during the interview process, the interviewers adopt one or more of the following methods:

1. Keeping a candidate to wait for longer time than anticipated to begin interview process.

2. Calling him in the interview room but not advising him to sit down on the seat meant for him.

3. Long silence even after the entry of the candidate in the interview room.

4. Asking another question before the candidate completes the answer of the previous question.

5. Pretension through body language by the interviewers that they do not listen to what the candidate is saying but actually they might be listening attentively.

6. Criticizing the candidate’s views vehemently even though they may agree with these views.

7. Harassing the candidate with some activities which might not be conducive for congenial environment for the interview.

If you look at all the above methods which are adopted by the interviewers, you will find that all these are quite frustrating to the candidate just like unexpected unfortunate happenings in his life. If the candidate becomes frustrated, he is unlikely to fair well in the interview just like a frustrated employee does not do well on his job. In order to be successful in stress interview, candidate should keep calm and treat this as a challenge.

Effective Man Management

Leadership

People ask the difference between a leader and a boss.... The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads and the boss drives."

While leadership is easy to explain, leadership is not so easy to practice. Leadership is about behavior first, skills second. Good leaders are followed chiefly because people trust and respect them, rather than the skills they possess. Leadership is different to management. Management relies more on planning, organizational and communications skills. Leadership relies on management skills too, but more so on qualities such as integrity, honesty, humility, courage, commitment, sincerity, passion, confidence, positivity, wisdom, determination, compassion, sensitivity, and a degree of personal charisma.

Some people are born more naturally to leadership than others. Most people don't seek to be a leader. Those who want to be a leader can develop leadership ability. And many qualities of effective leadership, like confidence and charisma, continue to grow from experience in the leadership role.

Leadership can be performed with different styles. Some leaders have one style, which is right for certain situations and wrong for others. Some leaders can adapt and use different leadership styles for given situations.

People new to leadership (and supervision and management) often feel under pressure to lead in a particularly dominant way. Sometimes this pressure on a new leader to impose their authority on the team comes from above. Dominant leadership is rarely appropriate however, especially for mature teams. Misreading this situation, and attempting to be overly dominant, can then cause problems for a new leader. Resistance from the team becomes a problem, and a cycle of negative behaviors and reducing performance begins. Much of leadership is counter-intuitive. Leadership is often more about serving than leading. Besides which, individuals and teams tend not to resist or push against something in which they have a strong involvement/ownership/sense of control. People tend to respond well to thanks, encouragement, recognition, inclusiveness, etc. Tough, overly dominant leadership gives teams a lot to push against and resist. It also prevents a sense of ownership and self-control among the people being led. And it also inhibits the positive rewards and incentives (thanks, recognition, encouragement, etc) vital for teams and individuals to cope with change, and to enjoy themselves. Leaders of course need to be able to make tough decisions when required, but most importantly leaders should concentrate on enabling the team to thrive, which is actually a 'serving' role, not the dominant 'leading' role commonly associated with leadership.

Today ethical leadership is more important than ever. The world is more transparent and connected than it has ever been. The actions and philosophies of organizations are scrutinised by the media and the general public as never before. This coincides with massively increased awareness and interest among people everywhere in corporate responsibility and the many related concepts, such as Fair Trade, sustainability, social and community responsibility . modern leader needs to understand and aspire to leading people and achieving greatness in all these areas.

Incidentally as a quick case-study, the BBC illustrates an important aspect of leadership, namely philosophy.

Philosophy is the foundation on which to build strategy, management, operational activities, and pretty well everything else that happens in an organization.

Whatever the size of the organization, operational activities need to be reconcilable with a single congruent (fitting, harmonious) philosophy.

Executives, managers, staff, customers, suppliers, stakeholders, etc., need solid philosophical principles (another term would be a 'frame of reference') on which to base their expectations, decisions and actions. In a vast complex organization like the BBC, leadership will be very challenging at the best of times due to reasons of size, diversity, political and public interest, etc. Having a conflicting philosophy dramatically increases these difficulties for everyone, not least the leader, because the frame of reference is confusing.

For leadership to work well, people (employees and interested outsiders) must be able to connect their expectations, aims and activities to a basic purpose or philosophy of the organization. This foundational philosophy should provide vital reference points for employees' decisions and actions - an increasingly significant factor in modern 'empowered' organizations. Seeing a clear philosophy and purpose is also essential for staff, customers and outsiders in assessing crucial organizational characteristics such as integrity, ethics, fairness, quality and performance. A clear philosophy is vital to the 'psychological contract' - whether stated or unstated (almost always unstated) - on which people (employees, customers or observers) tend to judge their relationships and transactions.

The BBC is an example (it's not the only one) of an organization which has a confusing organizational philosophy. At times it is inherently conflicting. For example: Who are its owners? Who are its customers? What are its priorities and obligations? Are its commercial operations a means to an end, or an end in themselves? Is its main aim to provide commercial mainstream entertainment, or non-commercial education and information? Is it a public service, or is it a commercial provider? Will it one day be privatized in part or whole? If so will this threaten me or benefit me? As an employee am I sharing in something, or being exploited? As a customer (if the description is apt) am I also an owner? Or am I funding somebody else's gravy train? What are the organization's obligations to the state and to government?

Given such uncertainties, not only is there a very unclear basic philosophy and purpose, but also, it's very difficult to achieve consistency for leadership messages to staff and customers. Also, how can staff and customers align their efforts and expectations with such confusing aims and principles?

The BBC is just an example. There are many organizations, large and small, with conflicting and confusing fundamental aims. The lesson is that philosophy - or underpinning purpose - is the foundation on which leadership (for strategy, management, motivation, everything) is built. If the foundation is not solid and viable, and is not totally congruent with what follows, then everything built onto it is prone to wobble, and at times can fall over completely.

Get the philosophy right - solid and in harmony with the activities - and the foundation is strong.

This of course gives rise to the question of what to do if you find yourself leading a team or organization which lacks clarity of fundamental philosophy and purpose, and here lies an inescapable difference between managing and leading:

As a leader your responsibility extends beyond leading the people. True leadership also includes - as far as your situation allows - the responsibility to protect or refine fundamental purpose and philosophy.

Communication Skills:

Communication Skills:

Communication Skills:
Communication is one of the most important aspects of building up relations......mis-communication can ruin everything.....as per the definition of communication ...it is the processes of getting through to people and making them understand what we think
...the exchange of understanding should be clear and simple....The more complicated the words become....the more opaque a conversation becomes.......
and in a professional approach it matters the most how effectively we get to connect and get across our ideas without stressing the other person before us.....

Types of communication skill:

Communication is generally classified into a couple of types. The classifications include: Verbal and non-verbal Technological and non-technological Mediated and non-mediated Participatory and non-participatory

However, the commonly known types of communications are :

1.Intra-personal communication skills : This implies individual reflection,

contemplation and meditation. One example of this is transcendental mediation. According to the experts this type of communication encompasses communicating with the divine and with spirits in the form of prayers and rites and rituals.

2.Interpersonal communication skills : This is direct, face-to-face communication that occurs between two persons. It is essentially a dialogue or a conversation between two or more people.

It is personal, direct, as well as intimate and permits maximum interaction through words and gestures. Interpersonal communications maybe:

3.Focused Interactions : This primarily results from an actual encounter between two persons. This implies that the two persons involved are completely aware of the communication happening between them.

4.Unfocused interactions : This occurs when one simply observes or listens to persons with whom one is not conversing. This usually occurs at stations and bus stops, as well as on the street, at restaurants, etc.

5.Non verbal communication skills : This includes aspects such as body language, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, etc., which also become a part of the communicating process; as well as the written and typed modes of communications.

6.Mass communication : This is generally identified with tools of modern mass media, which includes: books, the press, cinema, television, radio, etc. It is a means of conveying messages to an entire populace.

Here are the 7 top barriers:-

Many people think that communicating is easy.It is after all something we've done all our lives.There is some truth in this simplistic view.Communicating is straightforward.What makes it complex, difficult, and frustrating are the barriers we put in the way......

1. Physical barriers

Physical barriers in the workplace include:

• marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which strangers are not allowed

• closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for people of different status

• large working areas or working in one unit that is physically separate from others.

Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people still have a personal space that they can call their own, nearness to others aids communication because it helps us get to know one another.

2. Perceptual barriers

The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If we didn't, we would have no need to communicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its place.

The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts, assumptions and perceptions shape our own realities:

A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man from the next town.

"Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the next town tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?"

"Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in the last town you visited?"

"Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took me for a fool. Over-charged me for what I got. Gave me very poor service."

"Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty much the same here."

3. Emotional barriers

One of the chief barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear, mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful what we said to others.

"Mind your P's and Q's"; "Don't speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen and not heard". As a result many people hold back from communicating their thoughts and feelings to others.

They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive fear of what others might think of us can stunt our development as effective communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships.

4. Cultural barriers

When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of the group. These are the behaviours that the group accept as signs of belonging.

The group rewards such behaviour through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion. In groups which are happy to accept you, and where you are happy to conform, there is a mutuality of interest and a high level of win-win contact.

Where, however, there are barriers to your membership of a group, a high level of game-playing replaces good communication.

5. Language barriers

Language that describes what we want to say in our terms may present barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our communication in such language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market place the greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their language.

One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the threat by the Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev saying to the Americans at the United Nations: "We will bury you!" This was taken to mean a threat of nuclear annihilation.

However, a more accurate reading of Khruschev's words would have been: "We will overtake you!" meaning economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the fear and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union that led to the more alarmist and sinister interpretation.

6. Gender barriers

There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a man and those in a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the age of three, have a vocabulary twice that of boys.

The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains. When a man talks, his speech is located in the left side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific locations.

This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and compartmentalised way, features of left-brain thinking; whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion, features of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longer than men each day.

7 Interpersonal barriers

There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from one another:

1. Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusal to be in touch and time alone.

2. Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact.

3. Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities.

4. Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and procedures of contact but no more.

5. Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing. They include "rackets" and "stamps".

6. Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of yourself and others.

Working on improving your communications is a broad-brush activity. You have to change your thoughts, your feelings, and your physical connections.

That way, you can break down the barriers that get in your way and start building relationships that really work.

How To Communicate:

Improve Your Relationships With Effective Communication Skills

1. Stay Focused: Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflic ts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes

   

   finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.
2. Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
3. Try To See Their Point of View: In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. (If you don't 'get it', ask more questions until you do.) Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
4. Respond to Criticism with Empathy: When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong, and get defensive. While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.
5. Own What’s Yours: Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.
6. Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
7. Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either through compromise, or a new solution that gives you both what you want most, this focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense. Healthy communication involves finding a resolution that both sides can be happy with.
8. Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.
9. Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on communication.
10. Ask For Help If You Need It: If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.

Tips:

1. Remember that the goal of effective communication skills should be mutual understanding and finding a solution that pleases both parties, not ‘winning’ the argument or ‘being right’.
2. This doesn’t work in every situation, but sometimes (if you’re having a conflict in a romantic relationship) it helps to hold hands or stay physically connected as you talk. This can remind you that you still care about each other and generally support one another.
3. Keep in mind that it’s important to remain respectful of the other person, even if you don’t like their actions.
4. Here's a list of common unhealthy ways to handle conflict. Do you do some of these? If so, your poor communication skills could be causing additional stress in your life.

Today, effective communication skills has become a predominant factor even while recruiting employees. While interviewing candidates, most interviewers judge them on the basis of the way they communicate. They believe that skills can be improvised on the job; but ability to communicate well is important, as every employee becomes the representing face of the company.

There are trainers, who specialize in delivering custom-made programs on the subject. Through the session they not only facilitate better skills in the department of communications, but also look into the problems that come in the way of being able to convey messages effectively. They discuss these issues with the management and then sought to design programs accordingly


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